What I've Learned at Buddy Walk

This weekend we will walk in our 6^th Buddy Walk, an awareness event for Down Syndrome.  Buddy Walks are held across the country this time of year to raise public awareness about Trisomy 21 and the community it affects.  But for me, Buddy Walk has become a classroom.  Here are some things I have learned at our annual Buddy Walks.

1. 1. Everyone can walk.  Our first year walking, we were invited to walk with another team.  The family we joined had been walking for five or six years, they had successfully pulled together teams of walkers, and had been instrumental in coordinating this huge community event.  I was so thankful that they adopted us in and let us experience Buddy Walk as members of the community and not as spectators.  I think that defines what I really want for my child.  I want him to live life, to contribute all of his beautiful gifts to his community.  I don’t want him to be a spectator in life, I want him to be a team player. At the time of his first walk, my little guy should have been taking his first steps.  It would be another year before that actually happened.  Fortunately, we had a great team of therapists who were undeterred: Joel would walk.  Unfortunately, we’ve already encountered  other situations where the immediate assumption is that he will ever only be a spectator.  People immediately want to define what he can’t do.  In reality, a “you can’t” attitude isn’t just applied to kids sporting extra chromosomes.  All of us have been told at some point, “you can’t.”  Which is why we all need cheerleaders, encouragers who say, “oh yes you can.”  Everyone walks at Buddy Walk.  Or rides or runs.  Little ones are in strollers, wagons, and on daddies’ shoulders.  Kids and pets run laps around walkers.  But eventually there is a single movement forward, and everyone is included.
   
   
   
   
   2. No one has to walk alone. For two years our family joined this other precious family.  Not just at the Buddy Walk.  In the walk of life.  The scariest moment in any of our lives is to think we have to face our struggles alone.  But nothing could be more false.  We were created for relationship.  And there is a family that has been created for each of us.  Some people are not born into great families, and they have to find a forever family.  Some people are blessed to find family everywhere they go.  Most of us experience a little of both.  The worst thing we can do to ourselves is hide in our fear and isolate ourselves.  Find a buddy.  The most amazing thing happens when you choose to walk beside someone: you look beside you and find someone walking with you.
   
   
   
   
   3. Long walks are better with friends.  Our third year we decided to venture to the Buddy Walk on our own.  Joel was in preschool and we invited his whole class to participate.  They made a banner for him and put their little hand prints on it.  Then we found out that a little friend in his class wanted to walk with us.  This little boy was a typical child, and was developing at an amazing rate.  He had a huge vocabulary and great athleticism, even at age 2.  Joel was walking pretty well at this point, but not talking yet.  He signed most of what he needed to communicate.  His speech therapist was trying to locate things in his world that he wanted to talk about.  Asking him to indentify random pictures just wasn’t working.  At this point he needed objects that produced “hard guttural stops” to talk about, words that start with K, hard G, or hard C.  And so we started talking about our new buddy Cole.  Every skill Joel develops is a hard won effort.  We’ve learned that these long roads of mastery are best mastered one small step at a time.  What a joy it is to find friends along the way that make the time pass, that give us joyful things to talk about, that celebrate not just the end, but every step along the way.
   
   
   
   
   4. Learn to walk your walk.  Two years ago the location of our Walk changed.  We went from making several laps around a track to one lap around a field.  I had no idea that the change would be noticed little baby Joel.  But while thousands of walkers stopped their stride to find easy rest under shade trees and tents, Joel kept walking.  He made another complete lap completely by himself, then content that his walk was now over, rested with his team.  While we need and celebrate all of the support around us, each of us has to find the personal courage to walk our own walk.  I can only be me.  Joel can only be Joel.  We’ll be miserable if we are trying to be someone we are not.  But if we learn to embrace who we are, to embrace our own stride, our own footprint, even our own meandering paths, we will discover the great strength our Creator has given us to be just who we are.
   
   
   
   
   5. Learn to appreciate another person’s walk.  Last year I again made the attempt to invite lots of people from our community to join our little team.   I was so honored that several families joined “Joel’s Heroes”, but I was most blessed to walk beside Carla.  Carla had already been to a walk that morning, a walk to “Make Strides Against Breast Cancer.”  It was pretty amazing that she would participate in two walks in one day.  It was absolutely inspiring to realize that the first walk was for her.  Carla had been fighting cancer in one form or another for most of her life.  She lost her leg during her childhood and walked with a prosthesis.  She lost her hair during the most recent battle with cancer and sported a gorgeous blonde wig.  Carla’s body had been ravaged by the disease and its treatment.  Her gait was wobbly and slow as she moved along with the Buddy crowd.  But, whose wasn’t?  Everyone on Joel’s team was so inspired by her walk with us.  I would learn over the next few months just how inspiring of a woman she was.  Carla’s physical body lost its battle to cancer this past spring.  Carla’s spirit was triumphant against cancer as people came from near and far to celebrate her life and marvel at this little woman and her strength and poise until the end.  I suspect we will have many more years of Buddy walks and I will appreciate every member of the team.  But I will never forget the year that we walked beside Carla.
   
   
   We are almost ready for our Buddy Walk this year.  We’ve had family come join us from across the country.  I’m not sure if Joel knows that all of this is for him or not.  But I believe he knows that we are for him.  And he has a team.  And each of us walks a stronger walk for being a member of team Joel.